For a full list of Veterans, Scientists and those with SIAD, see the List of statuses.

A noob often refers to an ASMS student who's early in their years at ASMS and has little or no knowledge of how many of the rituals observed in ASMS work. Some Noobs are lucky enough to be taken under the tutelage of an ASMS Student, or even an ASMS Veteran who will usually speed up the process, but really only time can remove the noob from the student. As a general rule, any student must be confined to our walls for approximately four terms, however there are rare cases when a new student can lessen that time, or even be altogether immune from noobishness. On the other hand, some students have SIAD (Self Inflicted Awesome Deficiency), the noob equivalent of AIDS, meaning that they simply lack the ability to not be a noob. These are always tragic cases within the ASMS and often lead to the individual being an outcast from regular gropaga.


Noobishness should not be confused with Derpes, though they often show similiar symptoms. Derpes is very similiar to Noobishness with the difference that it is contracted from other students. This can happen when a students shakes being a noob but then shows signs of noobing, often after exposure to new students. At extreme times, an outbreak of Herpaderpies may be noted. This is when a student contracts Derpes then spreads it to other non-noob students. If this is seen within the ASMS, all students reserve the right to issue sighs, face-palms, head-desks and even punches to the arm. If none of these options are available, the student is advised to move away from the afflicted one and report the case to the nearest ASMS Veteran.