Simon is a former Student at the ASMS. His current whereabouts are unknown; popular hypotheses


theorise that he dematerialised and turned into the new Year 10 Student, Sarah Lee.

Simon's cup stacking abilities indicate a supernatural origin. When behavioral scientists observed the subspecies known as the ASMS students in their natural habitat they noticed that some of the female variety plaited his hair. They have theorised that this rite is performed to activate or increase his otherworldly abilities, which include but are not limited to:

  • Transvection (Levitation)
  • Telepathy
  • Attacking people by waving his head around like a mad man
  • Manipulation of people's thoughts (This deserves it's own category instead of just being in Telepathy as Simon is able to sell dozens of chocolates a day sometimes to the same people everyday)
  • Omniscience (yes, it's actually a word)
  • Video editing, MysteryGuitarMan style


Simon Lee (not to be confused with the lesser talented Simon Lee) is quietly awesome. He is the optimal human being. All aspects of his personality have been primed to optimal levels to navigate human life. But rather than become stuck up and superior his modest nature means he is beloved by his peers. Simon's cup stacking abilities further indicate a supernatural origin. It is suspected that "humans" of Simon's creed will eventually take over the world, not with any particular intention, but is the natural course through natural selection given their optimal nature.

Some people believe that Simon's fixation with cups is unnatural. Simon tells us that it is, in fact, perfectly natural and him and the cups are just good friends.

In previous years Simon would disappear in the middle of class time with the excuse that he "had band practice to attend". Others knew better. Simon was in fact being rushed off in a special taxi arranged by the shadow government in order to help defend the earth. What exactly this involved remains unknown. These mysterious disappearances have continued into his year twelve, now under the guise of "Physics"; causing speculation as to that nature of Australia's future nuclear capability's.